The Blame Game

by Chris Lima
108 Red Stitches

It’s the age-old “who-done-it” question that will continue to baffle until answered.

Who was the snitch, low life, leaky faucet who released Alex Rodriguez’s name to the media, regarding his failed steroid test in 2003?

Lets take a look at all the players in this saga, and examine who might be the culprit;

The Profiteer in the Bookstore;
Isn’t it a little too convenient that Joe Torre and Tom Verducci have a book out that centers around an A-Rod bashing story? Would someone with insider knowledge be willing to sell their soul in order to push a few more books?

Analysis: Torre is one of the most respected men in baseball, so it would be a far reach to assume that he’s the one that leaked A-Rods’ name. Verducci is a reporter held in high regard by fellow peers and wouldn’t waste his credibility just to sell a couple more copies of “The Yankee Years”.

The Spurned Lover in the Bedroom
C-Rod and A-Rod get down and dirty in their divorce, as details of A-Rod’s elicit affairs with blond Canadian bimbos and Madonna are spewed throughout the newspapers over the past year. Could this be a case of a “woman scorned”?

Analysis; C-Rod seems to like the press and limelight (remember that F-You Shirt she wore to the Stadium?). C-Rod’s stock depends on what type of a relationship her and A-Rod had; if Alex talked to her about everything between a pitcher’s tendency to throw him sliders and failed drug tests, then she becomes a prime suspect. If their relationship was “don’t ask, don’t tell” then she quickly falls out of favor.

Jealous Teammate with an Axe (to grind) in the Clubhouse;
Jose Canseco; baseball’s biggest tragedy since the invention of the Designated Hitter. The guy could hit a baseball 500 feet but never got paid accordingly (in his opinion). In his second book “Vindicated” Canseco wrote that A-Rod had taken steroids and his name was left off the Mitchell Report.

Analysis; Canseco, ever ready to make a quick buck due to financial woes, seems to be the most likely candidate out of the group. He’s got the motivation (jealousy, greed, desperation) but the question that remains is; “How did he get the names on the report?”

The Nerd in the Computer Room;
Wouldn’t it be great that we find out the guy who brought A-Rod down was a twenty five year old computer programmer in the Commissioner’s Office? This one makes the most sense.

Analysis: Dorky. Dweeby. Un-athletic. Couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn. Wouldn’t hit water if he fell out of a boat. Has to hit the inhaler after walking up two flights of stairs.
Has the brainpower to unlock the password that protects the document that has the name of all 114 failed drug-tested players in the 2003 tests.

Remembers every athlete who stuck him inside of a shower stall/locker/garbage can after administering an atomic wedgie.

Hits send on his email program after attaching A-Rod’s name with supporting documents.

Thousands of years of cruelty to the weak-bodied-able-minded erased with the click of a mouse.